I thought yesterday was going to be my "lucky" day. I went for my morning walk and found $10. Excitedly, I walked in the door waving the bill for Ed who was at the computer googling GI stuff, and knew something was wrong. (He is never in front of the computer at that time of day) He told me of his discomfort, and some other symtoms and I said he definitely needed to call the Dr. As he showered, I googled a little and came up with some very scary stuff. Needless to say, I was anxious, but didn't want to jump to any conclusions. I kissed Ed good-bye before I left to go baby-sit. All morning he was on my mind, and I gave into a few tears, but mostly I just prayed.

The next I heard from him he was headed to the ER, with possible appendicitis. I was unable to go be with him since I had all the kids. My mom did come over to watch them when I took N to a pediatrician's appt. that he had, but she was unable to stay longer since she needed to be at go home to care for my dad. My original hope was that Ed's parents would join Ed at the hospital so that they would be able to keep me posted on his condition as well as give him support and company. Although I tried reaching Ed's parents, they were never home and I later remembered that they were on a day trip to NYC. So it ended up being a very stressful day for me as I waited by the phone to hear updates from Ed and any possible word from his parents that they had received my message and were on the way to the hospital. Around 5 John came to pick up his kids and I called my sister Sandy to see if she could watch my kids while I went to the hospital to check up on Ed. As I was driving my kids to Sand's house, Ed called and said he was being released. I turned around the car, came home and gave the kids baths before putting them to bed. Ed walked in soon after.

Apparently they didn't find anything abnormal in the CAT scan, but they put him on a clear liquid diet for 24 hours. They guessed it may be colitis, but even that they are not sure of. He will have to follow up with a GI specialist and see what the next step is. I am so thankful that he is home, and there wasn't an emergency surgery yesterday, but my heart is still full of fear and worry for Ed's health. This is his second ER visit in less than a year and it is worrisome. I just need to trust in the Lord and that he will be with us no matter what comes.

Urgent Prayer Needed:

Just a quick note. Ed woke up this morning with some abdominal pain and scheduled a dr. visit. I just got a call from him that they sent him to the ER for possible appendicitis. I am on my way out for a dr. appt. for Noah and then I will be back home this afternoon (I am babysitting today). I will let you know if there is any new news. Please pray.
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Thank you so much for your prayers. Ed just called and they are releasing him. Apparently they think that it is colitis. Still a serious condition, but not the one that they originally thought. So I guess we have to wait and see what this means for him.

(edited at 6:30)

10 Years

The time has passed so quickly, especially since we've had children. Looking back, it feels like a blink, but the girl I see in those pictures is someone different. From another time and place.
I tried to find a picture from our wedding day, but our album is impossibly buried somewhere in a box. So this will have to do until I uncover it.

getting some time to ourselves

Our hotel was luxury itself. Located in downtown Chicago, on Michigan Avenue, the Conrad Hilton was like no other hotel I've been in. They asked us at check in if we wanted a warm towel to refresh ourselves. I must admit I was a bit thrown off by this question-- what was I supposed to do? Wipe my face as I stood there in the lobby? I am sure my confusion and surprise showed on my face as we politely declined.

Saturday morning Ed and I met up with Andrew after breakfast. He was able to show us around downtown a little. We went to Millennium Park, which was beautiful even though the day was overcast. We could not resist taking pictures of "The Bean"

(Inside the Bean)

We then walked down to the waterfront and took in the view of the city and the Lake.

As you can see, the day was overcast and then it started to rain, so we had to change our plans to go on a 2 hour Architectural walking tour. We went on our own little tour of Marshall Fields and then to the Tribune building, and the Oppenheimer gallery of Audubon prints. Andrew did a great job giving us historical facts as we walked past buildings. We then picked Erin up and went back to their apartment.

Andrew has 6 avocado trees going from the pits of guacamole (they are pictured here with one of them). They said that they were intending them as housewarming gifts, but then got attached to them. I think I may try that with our next pit-- E will think it's fun. They also have a ton of books that Andrew has collected for himself and to sell in his used book business. After some beers, we went out for pizza. It was a lot of fun catching up with them, and seeing their place.

On Sunday morning Ed and I went to a diner for breakfast before he dropped me off at the airport. I was still pretty teary-eyed when I went up to the kiosk to check in. The man working behind the counter took note of this, and gave me a little pat on the arm and said,"Are you going to be OK?". I attempted a smile, and assured him I was fine. As I went to pick my seat for the flight, I asked him if he could tell me which of the seats would be loading first, as I only had one carry-on bag and didn't want to check it (if you board later, zone 5 or 6, there is a possibility that the overhead compartments are full and you end up having to check your bag). He looked for me, and all the seats were zone 4, 5, or 6. He then asked me to wait, and stepped into the back area. When he came back he told me to check whatever seat I wanted. When he handed me my boarding pass a minute later, I noticed it said zone 1, and started to tear up in gratefulness(as well as being a little fragile already). He said, "Just have a good flight", and he patted me on the arm and sent me on my way. I then had a chance to look at my actual seat, and it was First Class (I didn't realize at the time that zone 1 is first class). I did lose it then, and had to duck behind a sign to compose myself. So I was able to fly back in comfort as well as feeling blessed by that man's kindness to me.

But I have to say that Sunday was a very difficult day for both of us. It was extremely depressing to get on that plane knowing I was leaving behind a very sad and lonely husband. The only thing getting us through this week is the hope that it's the last one he has to be away.

Children + Housework

Children have complicated my life in ways that I had not anticipated in pre-child years. I knew that things would take longer, the house would be messy, I wouldn't be able to get up and go whenever I felt like it, etc, etc. But yesterday I was reflecting on how they can make normal household chores a bit more difficult, and that they are often literally, underfoot.

Doing the Dishes: Last night after dinner, if you had looked in my kitchen window, you would have seen me washing the dishes in a somewhat awkward position. I was about a foot away from the counter, stretched forward to reach the sink and faucet, my legs straddling both of my children who had wedged themselves between me and the cabinets. Why they had chosen this particular moment to sit in that particular spot? No other reason except that I needed to stand there. So in addition to dishpan hands, doing the dishes gives me a strained back!

Vacuuming: Whenever I get out the vacuum cleaner, it is like a siren call to the kids, especially N and Erika, to come from wherever they happen to be happily playing and plant themselves in front of the machine. I have to constantly vacuum around them and find creative ways to move them out of my way (like throw a ball across the room so they chase that instead and then quickly clean the spot they were just standing on before they come back). So what would usually be a quick 10 minute job turns into a 20 minute juggling, dodging, racing act.

Making Meals: I have a small kitchen. By small I mean tiny- 9 square feet of floor space. Sometimes I have to put a child gate up and endure the outraged wails of my toddler rather than share this space with 3 or 4 kids and a dog. Because seriously, I will be making dinner and there will be bodies wherever there is spare space on the floor. I have to work around them, stepping over them, cracking the refrigerator so I can get an arm inside to grab what I need, holding back grabby hands as I open the cupboards to retrieve ingredients. At least once a week it gets to be too much and I call Ed to pick up a pizza or some chinese food on the way home. Thankfully, he is always willing to help me out.

And that is what keeps me sane. Having Ed, another adult to share my burden, to take a child when I need a break, to give me a hand when 2 aren't enough. To give me a kiss and a pizza at the end of a long day.

NH '05

Here's a sampling of pictures from NH, as you can see the quality is not that great-- disposable camera, and all.

Ellie fishing from the dock

Noah playing in the sand (happy until he decides to suck his thumb) / Me and Ellie

The Hodges' two week old kitten

So we are back...

Some highlights from the week:

1. Blueberry picking with E- It is very clear that E is my daughter, and this is further evidence. As long as I can remember, picking blueberries has been one of my favorite things to do on the island. Going to my favorite spots on the island, standing in the solitude of the woods with the sounds of the waves lapping on the rocks nearby. Picking clumps of ripe berries off the bushes and watching my bucket slowly fill as the berries go from making a "plink, plank, plunk" sound to a soft "plop". It's a nice activity to do alone, as you can really just slow down and think, but it's also nice to have company, someone to chat with and pass the time together. The first thing that E did when we arrived was to race off to find blueberry bushes and pick and eat to her heart's delight (much as I remember doing). Later, when I had unpacked and settled in, I grabbed a container, and E and I set off together to find berries for the next morning's breakfast. It was a bit reminiscent of Blueberries for Sal (minus the bear), I picked and E sometimes gave helpful handfuls, but more often just ate the berries she picked. A couple of times she wandered off by herself to sit and pick and eat in a "special" spot that she had found. Throughout the week we enjoyed several picking times together, and it gave me joy to share something that is so special to me with my daughter.

2. Seeing a bald eagle- We spent many mornings sitting in the boat, as it was still tied to the dock, reading our various books, soaking in the sun. One such day Ed happened to look up, and spied what he thought was a bald eagle. Sure enough, it circled around again, and it was an eagle! We saw it a couple of other times, and it was always a thrill!

3. Campfires- Days on the island are usually warm and breezy, while nights are cool. This makes it the perfect place for campfires. The heat of the fire was welcome in the cool of the night, and there was enough breeze to blow the smoke away. Ed and I built a couple after the kids had gone to bed and spent some nights sitting by the lake watching the stars, and some fireworks shows (almost every night at 9), and the mesmerizing flames of the fire as the wood was slowly reduced to glowing red embers.

4. Ed and E time- Ed and E were able to spend some precious father-daughter time together while N napped. One of their activities was fishing. E had been looking forward to fishing for almost a year now. She "gave" Ed a small child-sized rod for father's day, and we bought worms when we arrived. Ed rowed her out in a small aluminum boat, and the two of them sat there for about an hour. E caught a large bass right away, they lost a couple of worms to some smart fish, and Ed caught a couple of smaller fish. E loved it, and was reluctant to return to shore. A couple of days later they fished off the dock and caught some sunnies until the worms ran out. The other activity was kayaking. Ed took E on 3 separate expeditions, to see other islands in the lake. They both really enjoyed this time together, even though we had to force E to go the first time (she was nervous about going in the kayak). They even saw a loon and watched it fishing and swimming in a cove by Stampact (the largest island on the lake). Near the end of the week E went up to Ed, gave him a big hug, and took his face in her hands and said, "I like being together, just our family, and having you with us. It's more fun when you're with us."

5. N- I would be remiss if I didn't write something about N here. He was working on standing all week, briefly rising and then falling forward onto his hands as we applauded his efforts. He didn't like the fast part of the boat rides when we raced across the lake, but he loved the quiet parts in the river when he could wave at all the other boats and people that we passed. He loved eating at the table because he stood on the long bench to eat (instead of strapped into a high chair), free to roam back and forth from his plate to mine, picking off whatever looked good to him. He also enjoyed playing the piano, much to E's frustration, "He always plays when I am playing, and he messes my song up". Aaah, the life of a big sister.

We definitely missed having other people to share the time with. I thought of our friends and family often as we did various activities through the week--- riding in the boat (E and Allison would have liked sitting together up front), fishing (picturing the Landis boys in the boat with E), exploring in the woods (Grayson leading E in make-believe games), campfires (remembering fires in years past that Andrew made), quiet nights (loud, rowdy game nights with my family around the coleman lantern at the kitchen table). But each year is different, and special in its own way, making memories for years to come. I am thankful for the time we had together, before the rush of the new school year carries us away in activities and busyness.

Happy Father's Day!

We celebrated the day with my family. The dads that were present included my father, grandfather, uncle, and of course, Ed. It was especially meaningful to be able to spend the day with Dappie because this past week he went into the hospital with chest pains, and ended up having 2 stents put in arteries that were 80 - 90 % blocked. It was a definite scare for everyone in our family, and we are just so thankful that everything went well, and that he is doing fine.

N was worn out by midafternoon, and snuggled up with his Daddy for a nap.

I am thankful to the Lord for blessing me with a husband who is so wonderful with our children. I love watching him joke around with E, and play along with her games (today's games included E's made-up "Sleeping Monster" which involves sneaking up on the other person/monster who is sleeping on the couch and trying to eat them, and "Mother May I?" and "Simon Says", all of which I don't have much patience for) And he is so sweet with N, and takes the time to get down on the floor to play with him and teach him things (like "where's your nose?" -- which he learned, although I have subsequently tried to teach him mouth, ears, bellybutton, etc, with no luck). It's wonderful to be married to a man who experiences such pleasure and joy in his kids, and who desires to spend time with them. It's neat to watch their relationships develop, and see how much E and N love their dad.

P.S. It was hard to tell at first, but I think that N is finally saying "real" words, and I must admit, I think that the first official one was "Da-Da". He said the sound months ago, but in the past couple of weeks he has said it in direct relation to Ed. Followed by "Ma-Ma"(although I am still not convinced he is talking about or to me), and just on Friday, "Bye-Bye". But "Da-Da" was first.

Art Museum

Yesterday Ed took the day off of work and we went to the Art Museum to see the Dali exhibit (his birthday gift to me). We got a sitter, and caught the 10 am train into the city. We arrived in Suburban station, and then took the Phlash trolley to the museum-- very convenient, and cheap! We had 11:30 tickets to the exhibit but we had to wait in this huge line for about 20 minutes (it was moving pretty quickly). We got to listen to a cool audio tour through a headset, and it really added to the understanding of the exhibit. It took us 2 hours to walk through the whole thing, looking at almost every picture (we skipped a little at the end because we were ready for lunch). Dali was definitely a disturbed man, with many issues. It reminded me of a conversation I had with an ex-art student who said she left art school because the art world is a dark place. It was evident to see in Dali's work. I wonder what it is that makes artists depressed-- I always think of art, in a general sense, as uplifting, and ideally, pointing you towards the Creator. Obviously not all art is like that, but still, it's how I view it from a distance, as a whole. There was not much that was uplifting or light about Dali's exhibit. Even so, we really enjoyed our day, and we would love to go back and see more of the museum-- we loved the Asian palace and temple rooms.