20 Weeks

Ok, I have tried to write this entry 3 times now, and can't seem to capture the experience exactly right. So I am just going to put it out there...

Last Monday we had our official ultrasound, and all is well with the baby. It is healthy and strong, and growing beautifully. It was really cool to see its little legs kicking away, the individual fingers and toes, the arms, belly, and beating heart. The only concern the techinician had was the placenta which is low-lying. She said we should make an appointment in six weeks to check on it, and see if it has moved up. On the way home Ed and I were discussing the visit and I said,"Oh, I'm not worried at all about the placenta. It will be fine, it is pretty common, and won't be a problem since it will probably move up by the delivery".

Fast Forward to Friday night...

Ed and I had just finished watching a movie. Towards the end I had been experiencing a little discomfort due to increased, uh, moisture. I thought it was normal pregnancy stuff, and wasn't worried, but realized I might have to change into something dry after the movie. So as soon as the movie was over, I went up to the bathroom and discovered that it wasn't normal at all-- I was bleeding. In a shaky voice I called Ed to come, and asked him to get the phone. I called the OB and explained the situation, breaking down as I talked. Ed quickly called Cara to come watch the kids, as well as my parents to pray. I got a hold of Jess and quickly explained the situation and asked her to pray too. Even in the middle of this, I was so thankful that I could call and ask for prayer. That even though Jess and I were separated by thousands of miles she could still cry out on my behalf to the Only One who had control.

Anyway, we arrived at the hospital and after walking around trying to find a way in (all the doors are locked at night), we made it up to triage on the birthing floor. Upon arrival I discovered that the bleeding had stopped, which was a great relief, but then they hooked me up and proceeded to try to find the heartbeat of the baby. For a few heart stopping moments she couldn't find it. I clutched Ed's hands, tears streamed down my face and I just shook my head at him, thinking "It's gone. The baby is gone." Finally, it must have been a minute, even though it felt like five, the sound of a tiny galloping horse filled the room.

After that the visit proceeded normally. An exam, utrasound, bloodwork, contraction monitoring, they all confirmed that the baby was fine and we were discharged at around 1:30 am. The discharge orders were "modified bed rest" until Monday when I would see the doctor again.

Saturday and Sunday I spent most of the time in bed while Ed was "super-dad". He made a pancake breakfast, got the kids off to soccer, brought lunch home, went to the library to get me some books, made dinner, put the kids to bed, got them up and went to church. In the beginnning I was Ok with getting some extra rest, time to read, nap, etc. But that got old quickly as I heard the sounds of the kids laughing and playing downstairs, and as I felt increasingly guilty about the extra burden this had placed on Ed.

After lunch on Sunday I passed a rather large clot, and it was off to the hospital again. We dropped the kids off at my parents, and made our way up to triage. The scene was all too familiar, as they went through the monitoring and exam. Everything was fine-- no more new bleeding. They said that this was probably all due to the low lying placenta, and that I may have a few more episodes before it moves up. So I went home to continue my bed rest.

Monday I went to the OB, and everything checked out normally again. I was hoping that I would be given the green light to continue my normal activities, but that was not what the doctor ordered. So here I am. I need to continue to stay off my feet as much as possible, no cleaning, shopping, or lifting the kids for the next couple of weeks until my next visit. She did consent to let me go to WBS, since it is mostly sitting, but even now I am missing play group. It is extremely frustrating to not be able to do the things I normally do. I want to be able to do my jobs around the house, and absolutely hate putting all the work on Ed while I sit on the couch and watch. It is seriously stressing me out to have to rest, if you can believe it. So if you want to find me the next couple of weeks, I will be on my couch with my feet up, praying for that placenta to migrate up my belly.