Monday, March 14, 2005


This past weekend E was feeling sick. She had a fever and didn't want to eat, so she just lay on the couch watching t.v. Her viewing choice was the stack of home videos we have been compiling since her birth. So on Sunday, we spent the whole day watching videos from her infancy until about 2 years. I was in and out, and was able to catch several segments through the day. The ones that captivated my attention most were from about 9 months until 2 years. Although we frequently look at pictures, a video captures so much that you forget. The little walks, the way she talked, "Hold You!" (when she wanted to be picked up), "Mommy, see me?" (in reference to wanting to watch herself be filmed on the monitor), "Ayson!" (Grayson). It's almost hard to believe that she was the same person that was sitting next to me on the couch. The baby E was so round and soft, rolls around her wrists, sweet cheeks that begged for a kiss and a squeeze, fly away hair. I look at E now- long legs and arms, long straight hair, and I realize that the baby is truly gone, she is a little girl. I just wanted to reach into the past and pick up that baby that was on the television screen, and hold her one more time. I know that one day soon, I will be looking at pictures of my 4 year old E and thinking the same thoughts. So I guess all I can do, really, is appreciate the different stages my children pass through as they grow and change. Because it is true, isn't it, what EVERY person tells you, "Enjoy them, they will grow up so fast".

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